Mental Notes with Hilary Valdez: Habits

Mental Notes with Hilary Valdez: Habits

by Hilary Valdez
Stripes Okinawa

Limits are imposed by habits. Some habits are connected to a negative self-image. It is difficult to grow or achieve past your own negative self-image. A lot of people walk around with automatic thoughts. In other words, they respond to situations by habit. This is called circular or linear thinking. Some people have not developed additional insight to try things a different way. Good problem solvers or reasoners, try another way. 

Some people get trapped by their own structure and are high on structure and low on flexibility. Some people are high on flexibility and low on structure. If an individual has a poor self-concept, then he or she will not have the self-confidence necessary to excel or go past their comfort zone.

Ask yourself how are  you going to behave when your mate wants to participate in a new social activity or needs their growth needs met? A growth need is an inner yearning that needs to be satisfied to gain personal or professional development.

If you are carrying a suitcase filled with psychological baggage: dump it. You need to let go of old fears and habits. If you have bad habits and resentments, admit them, then let them go. What made you hold on to bad habits for so long? Move forward! 

Are your habits helping you or hurting you? Do your habits or sad feelings go back to your childhood? Do you look at your personal development negatively? Habits can be changed. Discipline is the key.

Once you break bad habits, you begin to feel healthy. Be patient with yourself. Being healthy means feeling secure and cooperative. Change occurs slowly in close relationships. Small changes leads to larger changes. Focusing on solutions and possibilities helps change in the desired direction. If nothing seems to be working, try another way; experiment. Act as if change is happening all the time. Remember: we are all inter-connected.


Hilary Valdez is a retiree living in Japan. He is an experienced Mental Health professional and Resiliency Trainer. Valdez is a former Marine and has worked with the military most of his career and most recently worked at Camp Zama as a Master Resiliency Trainer. Valdez now has a private practice and publishes books on social and psychological issues. His books are available on Amazon and for Kindle. Learn more about Valdez and contact him at the website or email. Follow his YouTube channel Hilary’s Quick Talk for more insights.

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