Hilary Valdez (Photo by Hilary Valdez/Stripes Okinawa)
“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.” Albert Einstein
As you wander around the city, ever wonder what are people thinking? What occupies their immediate thoughts? Are they happy, sad, desperate, lonely? What are they saying to themselves? What is their self-talk? I guess each person is stuck in their own quiet battles of physical or mental challenges.
Some people I observe have severe physical challenges yet seem to persevere. The act of walking, which able bodied people take for granted, becomes a severe daily life challenge for those with ambulation issues. They’re not crying out for assistance, but maybe internally they’re silently pleading for help. Suffering becomes heavier when life feels empty, lonely, sad, or disconnected: if no one cares. Many people carry these burdens silently while still trying to appear strong to the world.
The goal is not to become free from all sadness or fear. The goal is to build a life where peace, meaning, and emotional balance slowly become stronger than despair. Easy to say when you can walk to the kitchen without struggling. I was on crutches for three months after a car accident. When I woke up in the hospital, my left leg was elevated, half of my big toe was amputated; two pins held my toe together. My right arm was bandaged, in a sling, and elevated after hand surgery.
Going to the bathroom took on a whole new meaning. Taking one step was a challenge. One day I accidentally banged my toe with the pins in it. Pain. Pain. Pain. Overcoming my anxiety and depression was a journey marked by resilience, self-compassion and embracing hope. It was easy to feel sorry for myself. I looked horrible; felt miserable. Could barely move.
Although anxiety and depression are different, they frequently occur together. A person may constantly worry about the future (anxiety) while also feeling discouraged and hopeless (depression). Anxiety is often the mind’s attempt to protect us from perceived threats, even when no immediate danger exists. Depression is more than feeling sad for a few days. It’s a prolonged state of low mood, loss of interest, and diminished enjoyment in life. Many psychologists note that meaning and connection protect the mind.
People cope better when they feel useful, loved, spiritually grounded, or connected to something larger than themselves. After surgery, I couldn’t shave, could barely make it to the bathroom, I wasn’t feeling very useful. Alone with my thoughts, I was fighting my negative thinking. I did not want to believe every anxious thought. Thoughts are not always facts. Depression especially can distort perception, making temporary pain feel permanent. Anxiety and depression often arrive quietly at first. A restless night, which I had many, and being pre-occupied with negative thoughts or obsessive thinking or a loss of energy. Worry engulfs the mind without rest.
From a psychological point of view, anxiety pulls a person into fear about the future, while depression often pulls a person into hopelessness about the present or past. One fills the mind with tension. The other drains it of hope. Yet both are deeply human experiences, not signs of weakness or failure. I had to remind myself that it’s okay to not be okay. Just don’t give up.
Anxiety and depression are real challenges; they’re intertwined. These are not mere fleeting moments of sadness or worry, but persistent, debilitating conditions that can steal joy, grind down motivation, and isolate people from the world around them. They can have a serious effect on your life.
But healing, mental strengthening, or resiliency building, rarely happens all at once. Progress is often uneven. Usually, it begins with small acts repeated patiently. The first crucial step in navigating this complex mental challenge is acknowledgement and acceptance. Often, the shame and stigma surrounding mental health lead individuals to suppress their feelings, believing they should simply snap out of it. This denial, however, only makes it worse. D.E.N.I.A.L. or Don’t Even Know I’m Lying … You need to accept and recognize that anxiety and depression are legitimate health concerns, like any other physical condition, is an act of profound self-compassion. Acceptance opens the door to seeking help without judgment and allows for a more honest assessment of the challenges at hand.
Anxiety and depression are the top mental health issues in the world. You are not alone. It’s a part of the human condition. Life is rough. We get beat up psychologically and emotionally on the path of life. There will be good days and bad days, setbacks and triumphs. It is during the difficult moments that the practice of self-kindness becomes most vital. Treating yourself with the same understanding and encouragement you would offer a friend is essential. Celebrating small victories, acknowledging progress, and forgiving oneself for perceived failures are crucial elements in maintaining momentum. If you can feel it, you can heal it. Your mind can heal even if it feels tired.
“Every day may not be good…but there is something good in every day.” Alice Morse Earle
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hilary Valdez is a freelancer living in Tokyo, Japan. He is an experienced Mental Health professional and Resiliency Trainer. Valdez is a former Marine and has worked with the military most of his career and most recently worked at Camp Zama as a Master Resiliency Trainer. Valdez now has a private practice and publishes books on social and psychological issues. His books are available on Amazon and for Kindle. Learn more about Valdez and contact him at his website or email. Follow his YouTube channel Hilary’s Quick Talk for more insights.
