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“Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive.” - Dalai Lama
“You don’t have to teach people how to be human. You have to teach them how to stop being inhuman.” - Eldridge Clever
We are all part of a world-wide community and economy. Diversity is accepting and valuing differences with respect to age, class, ethnicity, gender, physical and mental ability, race, sexual orientation, and spiritual practice. We are all global citizens. Natural calamities, disasters, and wars, remind us that we are all world citizens.
If you have suffered in the past, then you appreciate happiness. True happiness is enjoying your own company and living in peace and harmony with your body, mind, and soul. Your inner life affects your happiness. “All humans have a desire for happiness and to overcome suffering. Happiness and sorrow are our own responsibility and completely within our control,” according to Buddhist thinking. Happiness has a lot to do with how we think and our attitude toward challenging situations.
What do you think of yourself? If you pay attention only to the negative things in you, and others, especially the suffering of your past hurts, you are wallowing in your sorrows and not getting positive nourishment. Are you fighting back counter-productive thoughts?
What behaviors bother you most about people? If you are always judging what is being said, jumping to conclusions, assuming everyone thinks the way you do, being close-minded, getting caught up in how people say things and being infatuated with your own words, you’re in for a tough time. As you stand in front of another human, different from you, what are you thinking about? Are you judging? Think for a moment; everything that irritates you about people can lead to a better understand of yourself. Life is filled with never-ending challenging and troubling moments.
What is a more optimist way of seeing things? Look at your perspective and stop negative thinking. This will help focus on the moment and/or the task at hand. There is no set formula for everyone to live by. Each person finds their own way. Some limp along the road of life, others walk briskly. Each person travels along the path best suited to their temperament.
“Refined politeness is always a good idea. Being courteous to all. You cannot hope to build a better world without improving the individuals. My humanity is bound up in yours, for we can only be human together.” Desmond Tutu. We can practice encouraging the wholesome qualities in us by focusing on the positive things that are always available inside us and around us. This is positive programming for our mind. If you say one negative thing, say two positive statements. Treat everyone you meet with kindness, patience, and grace. It benefits the receiver. Kindness also brings growing satisfaction in yourself as you treat others as you would like to be treated.
The greatest challenge in life is to decide what is important. What do you dream for? What do you want? Don’t be afraid to ask for what you really want. What do you wish for? Life is precious. People are happiest when they are around people who are also happy. Do things you enjoy. Find a purpose in your life.
We are capable of being compassionate, understanding, and joyful. The challenge is to dispute and question your destructive and self-defeating thinking, and emotions. Dispute your irrational and self-defeating thinking and beliefs. Come up with more rational and self-constructive thinking.
Try and be a little more scientific in your thinking and a little less emotional. When communicating wait-think-respond. Waiting helps thinking. Thinking helps with the correct response. Don’t be afraid to pause. No rush. Rushing for closure, you can make the wrong response. Relax. Don’t get the “hurry-ups.”
What are you thinking about all day? Identify your deep beliefs and core values that fuel out-of-proportion emotions. Then evaluate the accuracy and usefulness of those beliefs. What to do? Ask for feedback and pinpoint irrational and self-defeating thinking and work at becoming positive and happy. Don’t let self-defeating thoughts overtake your happiness. Practice thinking positive to promote a flexible, self-helping and efficient belief system. Dispute your thinking. Look at ways you have learned to needlessly upset yourself. Then learn how to "un-upset" yourself. Happiness begins within you. Destiny is not a matter of chance, it’s a matter of choice. Peace begins with you.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hilary Valdez is a freelancer living in Tokyo, Japan. He is an experienced Mental Health professional and Resiliency Trainer. Valdez is a former Marine and has worked with the military most of his career and most recently worked at Camp Zama as a Master Resiliency Trainer. Valdez now has a private practice and publishes books on social and psychological issues. His books are available on Amazon and for Kindle. Learn more about Valdez and contact him at his website or email. Follow his YouTube channel Hilary’s Quick Talk for more insights.
