(Hilary Valdez)
The choices we make in connection with everyday thoughts, feelings, and behavior result in either successful management or mismanagement of our lives. Emotional management is an essential skill that enables us to navigate life’s challenges. Recognizing when to re-evaluate your thoughts and behaviors helps maintain mental well-being and fosters personal growth. Taking a serious self-inventory can help in recognizing self-defeating thoughts and behaviors and help identify areas for personal improvement. Start by recognizing the signs that you need to re-boot your thinking. Ask yourself: Do I need a minor or major tune-up? What do I want to improve? Is it time to embrace change and upgrade my values? What is one belief that needs to change? What is my biggest fear about change? What’s the worst thing that can happen if I change?
When is it time to get clarity into yourself? Understanding what you can and cannot control is crucial for emotional management. In some cases, we cannot control external events, but we can control our reactions and attitudes to events. And that can be difficult. Each person has to self-reflect, and ask: Do I want to be sick or healthy? Do I want to continue living this way? What is the solution? What am I doing to cause this situation? What’s upsetting me? What are the tension breeding factors in my life? Having the ability to tolerate frustration is essential to cope with life and people. Have a sense of cause and effect. Give yourself time to put a layer of understanding on top of gut feelings. Your inner voice is constant. Listen to your self-dialogue especially when analyzing stress.
People experience life differently and have different values and beliefs. Developing resilience and understanding human nature are fundamental to emotional management. Be open to learning and adapting your views as you grow. Improving your stress management skills, identifying stress triggers and increasing your self-awareness can strengthen coping mechanisms and improve emotional management. Analyze yourself: What is my pattern when under stress? What happens if help is not available? What is my plan?
Don’t act like a turtle and pull everything inside and hide. Talk. Don’t hold back. Don’t get to the point of helplessness. Then you will replace frustration with anger and resentment. Anger hides a lot of emotions and prevents the expression of other feelings. Underneath anger is frustration, and under frustration is pain. What is the worst part of the frustration for you? Don’t let the situation dictate your behavior. Talk.
People have a maximum stress level; going beyond your level can lead to health problems. People get clogged up psychologically, become emotionally polluted, and stuck in a knot. If this happens, it’s time to internally mop up and get clarity into yourself before a catastrophic psychological meltdown occurs. Talk— don’t choke back your emotions. If it’s not a kick, kick it. It’s tough work being mentally healthy. Put meaning into your life and find your reason for being. Find a sense of purpose and be positive. Establish a blueprint for your life. The art of living is trial and error. The pain of life is the tax paid for participating in life.
When is it time to self-evaluate and get rid of your psychological rubble? Identify and correct counterproductive patterns in your thinking. Emotional management is a vital skill that can be developed through self-reflection and self-awareness. By asking yourself insightful questions, embracing change, and being receptive to growth, you can improve your ability to manage stress, build resilience, and lead a balanced, fulfilling life. Being open to ask for help and letting go of emotional burdens is crucial for maintaining mental health and well-being.
Be your own best friend. Recognize your functional limits and knowing when to seek assistance is vital. Ask yourself: What are my psychological and emotional functional limits? If my life were perfect, what would it look like? If I had a magic wand and could change my life, what would I change? What would my life be like? What is my ideal situation? Resilience involves adapting to adversity and managing stress effectively. Developing resilience entails increasing frustration tolerance and self-awareness, identifying your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, expressing emotions appropriately, being optimistic and focusing on the positive aspects of life and maintaining strong relationships and asking for help when needed.
Avoid bottling up emotions and express them healthily. Develop stress preparation skills to prevent reaching your maximum stress level. Start strengthening your resilience little-by-little. Increase your frustration tolerance. Regulate your impulses and emotions. Express your emotions appropriately. Be optimistic. Hunt for what is good in your day and in your life. Be realistic, rational, and pragmatic. Know your top strengths. Have faith in your strengths, talents, and abilities. Develop positive communication with family, friends, and co-workers. Good luck!
Trust your hopes not your fears.
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Hilary Valdez is a freelancer living in Tokyo, Japan. He is an experienced Mental Health professional and Resiliency Trainer. Valdez is a former Marine and has worked with the military most of his career and most recently worked at Camp Zama as a Master Resiliency Trainer. Valdez now has a private practice and publishes books on social and psychological issues. His books are available on Amazon and for Kindle. Learn more about Valdez and contact him at his website or email. Follow his YouTube channel Hilary’s Quick Talk for more insights.
